Tired of being SINGLE !!!

Tadi Cik Hati jalan2 dekat blog member2 Cik Hati. Saje2 je nak tau perkembangan masing2. Ade yg dah konvo, ade yg masih "menanam anggur", ade yg sambung master (mmg salut habis kat diorg ni sebab Cik Hati dah x de mood nak blaja lagi), ade yg keje sementara (one of them jadi Cikgu ajar budak2 sekolah rendah, tapi yg kelakarnye dia ni pun kecik je mcm budak sekolah, silap2 kena buli plak nanti ngan budak2 tue...) dan mcm2 lagi la. Seronok sgt baca blog diorg, sumtimes Cik Hati tersenyum and ketawa sendiri.

But, that is not the main point. Mukadimah je tue. Cik Hati ade terbaca satu post member ni pasal "Kembali Single". Cik Hati agak terharu and sedih plak bile baca post tue. Sebabnye, bile Cik Hati baca, Cik Hati terkenangkan diri Cik Hati sendiri. Kalau nak diikutkan dah lama kot Cik Hati single, berapa lama eh? Ntah, malas nak kira.

Tapi seriously, i am so tired of being single. Bosan and sumtimes lonely. I sit and listen to everyone's love stories, i thought about it and asked myself, "WHERE"S MINE??" Mcm member Cik Hati ckp, sumtimes kita memerlukan sumbody utk mengadu and meluahkan sumthing, someone that can be my crying shoulder, tempat utk bermanja2 (eeewwwwww...). Serious, Cik Hati jeles sgt tgk member2 Cik Hati yg bahagia n happy ngan pasangan masing2, ade yg dah bertunang, ade yg dah nak kawen, and ade yg dah kawen pun.

And yg paling menyedihkan, bile time2 bosan @ weekend, Cik Hati jadi x tau nak wat ape. Bukannye x de kawan, tapi bile kita ajak masing2 dah ade agenda @ plan masing2. So, Cik Hati jugak la yg sorg2. Ade satu masa tu sebab terlalu bosan, Cik Hati bwk adik Cik Hati yg umur 9 tahun tu tgk wayang. Ahhh..kesiannye kat diri sendiri..

Cik Hati nak jugak mcm org lain, pegi dating, pergi menghiburkan diri. Org selalu ckp kat CIk Hati, "alaa..relax la, ko still muda lagi. Perjalanan pun masih jauh, x lama lagi ko jumpe la tue". Yup, mmg x dapat dinafikan ape yg mereka ckp tu betul, tapi Cik Hati x dapat tipu diri sendiri, i need someone.

Bukan x de yg nak, ade je yg propose. Tapi x tau la nape, semua Cik Hati tolak. I never give them a chance. Bukan terlampau choosy, tapi.. Ntah, x tau nak cakap mcm mana. Selama Cik Hati single ni, Cik Hati mmg bnyk berjumpe dgn org, mencari kesesuaian dalam diri mereka. Bile ade yg berkenan ataupun yg rase sesuai, diorg plak yg prob. Ade yg sebenarnye dah ade gf, ade yg x nak commitment, ade yg nak jadi kekasih separuh masa, ade yg nak flirt2 je, ade yg nak jadikan Cik Hati kekasih kedua. Huh !!!!

Cik Hati x tau nape, Cik Hati selalu je jumpe dgn org yg salah. Mungkin Cik Hati terlampau cepat percayakan sesorang kot. Atau mungkin Cik Hati ni buta. Arghh..rumitnye... Susah kalau ckp pasal relationship ni. Its complicated !!

Ade jugak yg betul2 serious nak serious dgn Cik Hati, tapi kebanyakannye suka mendesak ataupun terlampau terburu2. Mcm gelojoh pun ade. Pada Cik Hati kalau nak serious ni, kita kena make it slow. Kawan2 dulu n kenal hati budi masing2 n cari keserasian. And sebab tu, they are all rejected. I am so sorry guys =(

And because of that, i am still single untill now.

Bengang !!!!

Last Saturday, i am suppose to meet my fren. Dia dah banyak kali turun KL, but never had a chance to meet me because i am too busy. Dia pun dah bising2 kan, ckp Cik Hati saje bagi alasan x nak jumpe dia. Last Saturday dia turun KL ckp nak jumpe Cik Hati. Ok, i'm fine with it. Dah lama x jumpe kan, so Cik Hati x kesah la, nanti dia ckp ape plak. Kalau ikutkan Cik Hati nak rest kat umah je, bleh tolong mama Cik Hati kan.

Then kitrg plan nak jumpe dalam kul 1, Cik Hati sampai Mid Valley dalam kul 1.15 mcm tue. At that time, dia pun x sampai lagi, dia ckp stuck dalam jam. Cik Hati dah pelik. Dia naik kereta?? Then, CIk Hati tanya, dia ckp dia dtg ngan member dia 3 org. DAMN !!!! Cik Hati dah bengang jugak masa ni, Cik Hati sorg2. Segan la...

Then, dah sejam lebih Cik Hati tunggu, duduk dekat bench dalam mid sorg2 sambil layan mp3. Sebenarnye masa ni dah agak geram, sebab x sampai2 lagi. Cik Hati msg tanya lama lagi ke. Then dia ckp, member dia nak singgah BB jap amik barang. DAMNNNNNNNN.. WTF !!!! Memang Cik Hati geram and marah gile masa ni. Dia tanya Cik Hati bleh tunggu lagi ke x?

Cik Hati dah tunggu sejam lebih, then dia suh tunggu lagi. Cik Hati dtg mid tu semata2 nak jumpe dia je taw, dah la sorg plak tue. Masa ni Cik Hati decide nak tunggu lagi, Cik Hati pegi MPH baca magazine kat situ. Tapi seriously Cik Hati mmg x tenang langsung. Ape benda ntah yg Cik Hati baca, lgsung x masuk otak. Perasaan marah, bengang and geram tu lagi kuat menguasai diri. Kalau ikutkan rase nak jerit je kat situ.

Then, Cik Hati cari port yg sunyi2 sket, amik je buku pape kat situ. Selak2 je pun buku tu. Suddenly ade air menitik atas buku tu. Cik Hati menangis?????? Ni la dia kalau dah marah and bengang sangat, dan x diluahkan. Serious sedih gile.. Tak tau nape.. Then Cik Hati msg member CIk Hati tu ckp kat dia, Cik hati nak balik je sebab Cik Hati dah x de mood. Cik Hati rase itu adalah langkah yg paling bagus skali sebab kalau Cik hati still tunggu ntah utk berapa lama lagi, dgn mood Cik Hati yg dah x baik ni akan tegangkan lagi keadaan bile jumpe nanti. Mesti dah x bestkan, mesti Cik Hati dah x de mood nak buat pape dah.

Then Cik Hati balik je.. Sebak sgt rase hati ni. He is wasting my time, my energy and my money too. And ape yg paling menyedihkan lagi, he dont even say SORRY to me. Tak rase bersalah langsung ke? Dah la dia yg beria2 nak jumpe Cik Hati. Hurm.. Cik Hati rase kalau dia ckp Sorry, mesti hati ni akan lembut sket and perasaan marah tu akan hilang..

Kepada U,

I am so sorry for throwing my anger, but its not my fault. ITS YOUR FAULT !!! Just imagine how would u feel when u are at my place.

Tiade tajuk !!!

Cik Hati x bleh tido. Esok kena bangun awal, nak sahur (puase nazar). Cuti weekend yg agak membosankan. X tau nak buat ape. Hari Sabtu Cik Hati bwk adik yg kecik tu pegi tgk wayang cte Ice Age 3, ketinggalan bukan? Huhu.. Cite tu menarik, tapi x tau nape Cik Hati x enjoy. Tidak berperasaan.

Cik Hati bosan lah sebenarnye. Rase nya dah lama sgt Cik Hati x pergi bergumbira dgn member2 Cik Hati. Tgk wayang, jalan2, main bowling, karaoke. Cik Hati nak sgt buat semua tu, tapi percaya x Cik hati x de teman yg bleh di ajak? Semua nye dah ade plan n commitment msg2. Ramai kawan, tapi..hurm..

Masa ni baru lah Cik Hati terpikir mcm2. Alangkah bagusnye ade "ITU" dan "INI". Mungkin dah tibe masanye Cik Hati memikirkan perkara ini dgn lebih mendalam. Mungkin dah masanya Cik Hati membuka pintu dan ruang itu. Mungkin dah tibe masanye Cik Hati memberi peluang kepada mereka2 itu..

Mungkin.....

Weird !!!

X tau la nape tbe2 rase mcm weird je. Did i have done anything wrong? Why suddenly u r so quite?
That's all, thank you...

Rindu

Huh, sudah lama agak terbengkalai blog Cik Hati ni. Busy, no idea n sumtimes no mood to write anything. Guess what? Cik Hati dah selamat melepasi saat2 genting. Exam semua dah lepas n alhamdulillah, Cik Hati lepas semuanya.

I am officially MCITP and CCNA Certified. This is what i am wanting so much. Thanks to all the professional trainers, without u all i would never get what i have now. Aside from technical skills, i have also improved so much in my softskills especially communication skill. And the important thing is, i have successfully developed my confidence. Yeay....

This Wednesday, i will start my industrial attachmeny in Maxis Plaza Sentral. I am so happy to be placed here. This is the place i am dreaming of. This is the place that i want to build up my career. Thanks to En Fauzul and Ms Sunita for giving me the opportunity. I promise that i will not let u down.

To all INSEP ICT Batch 16 Students (including the short and tall), I MISS U SO MUCH.. Hope that one day we can spend time and hang out together. Even our class lesson have come to the end, our relationship should not end here. It should last forever....

Supposely, i should be happy rite. But there is something that bother me so much. I am not sure what is it. It haunted me. It seems like something is missing. Still trying to figure it out. Sigh....

Hurm, i miss the time i spent together with them. It fulls of laughter and joy. Gossiping, hatred, dissappointed and frustrated have mix up and make our relationship become much more stronger. Seriously, i start to miss it rite after i finish my last class. Damn..... I hate this...

TENSE !!!!!

Ketegangan !!!

Hari ni semuanya serba x kena. Lepas itu, ini plak.. Dengan health condition Cik Hati yg x berapa baik ni lagi menambahkan ketegangan. Serius merosakkan m00d. Rase mcm nak balik je.. I need some free space, bukan dalam tempat yg sempit nie. Cik Hati menangis utk melepaskan rasa tense. Bukan mengada2, but i cant control it anyway. And of course la nobody knows..Kenape Cik Hati tense????? Banyk sebab. But i cant put it here, utk menjaga hati2 mereka. (siapa makan cili, dia rasalah pedasnye k)

Juz nak state kat cni, nak gurau boleh but mesti kena pasa masanya. Gurau yg melampau dan tidak kena pada masanya akan mendatangkan kemarahan dan of course terasa hati. No need to tell it so many times, i know who i am.

Not Feeling Well

Huwaaa.. i am not feeling well. Tbe2 je Cik Hati bagun tido pagi tadi, Cik Hati rase x sedap badan dan batuk yg sangat memeritkan tekak. Menjelang tengah hari Cik Hati rase menggigil, Cik Hati demam rupenya. Bile dah demam, badan pun rase letih, nak buat ape pun x larat. Kepala pun berpusing2, dan berat je. Huwaaa...x suke, x suke, x suke !!!

Cik Hati tak pergi klinik pun, juz makan ubat batuk dgn panadol je. Hopefully i will get well soon, n x de pape yg serius berlaku since skarang ni mcm2 penyakit ade kan. Dah la every day Cik Hati berada di dlam kesesakan org ramai. Ish2, mintak simpang la ehk... Pray for me !!!

Satu bnda yg Cik Hati x suke bile Cik Hati dalam keadaan mcm ni ialah Cik Hati menjadi sangat emosinal. X tau kenapa. Pantang ditegur sedikit, air mata Cik Hati dah berlinang. Tadi lepas Cik Hati makan ubat batuk, Cik Hati mengantuk. Then bile tgh baring2 atas katil tu tbe2 je air mata Cik Hati mengalir. Ape yg sedih sangat tu, Cik Hati pun x sure. Tu ok lagi. Tadi bile Cik Hati bangun, kebetulan ade cte Hindustan kat TV3. Ape lagi, dari awal sampai akhir Cik Hati nanges je sampai bengkak2 la mata ni. Adoiiii....

Selalunye bile Cik Hati sakit mcm ni, Cik Hati nak kan attention. Ngade2 kan. Tapi betul la, if Cik Hati sakit n org yg terdekat dgn Cik Hati buat x tau je, mesti Cik Hati sedih.. hukhuk... Hari ni Cik Hati rase agak sedih la sebab Cik Hati rase mcm x de org care pun pasal Cik Hati..huwaaaaa...kejam kejam kejam !!!!

Fever & Cough, please go and take my pain away !!!!!